2017

I have been away for a long time, mainly because I was a little lost (in life) and suddenly writing down my thoughts doesn't seem so important anymore.

The last of 2016 was spent decluttering.

Decluttering the house...
So many bags of stuff were tossed and I never knew how good that felt until lately.
I didn't know I was holding onto so much trash.
I even organised loose change into mini drawers for easy access. Never knew sorting coins could be so theruaptic, albeit a little yucky after.
I still have more areas to tackle but I'm glad I started somehow.
Those spring-cleaning and Konmari talks on my Whatsapp chat group was good motivation.

The most significant change in 2016, was actually decluttering my life.
I was holding onto too many emotional baggages and they were dragging me down.
It was ugly. Nasty.
The hubby seemed to have finally let go of some things that was bothering him and I tossed the emotional baggage, too,  for good. It felt so... liberating. I feel light and finally, happy again.

I also had to minimise my usage of gadgets when my data usage increased tremendously over the months (I don't know how!) and I steered clear of social media for a while as well. At least, until I have wifi access at my parents. But that felt good, too. I was finally not mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, and feeling lacking as I see photos after photos of beautiful houses and nicely cooked meals.


When 2017 began, my life began.
I was living in the grey shell of darkness for too long. Way too long.
I'm finally out.
Hello, world!
This feels good.

J starts school this year, so we started on a new routine as well.
It has been a month. So far, so good.


I'm not sure how often I'll pop by into this space to pen down my thoughts and feelings.
My next post may be tomorrow. Or next week.
Or perhaps, none for the next few months.

But I just want my future self to know that the silly, ol' me has returned.
And 2017 will be great!

This rainy day.

It rained the entire day today.

And so, we were stuck at home.

I was a little concerned about how I should keep J occupied - we kind of ran out of craft materials.

But she asked to watch movies in the morning and I sat alongside, working on my photobook.

I completed the photobook.

Then we cooked some pasta together. 

She ate some and asked for milk because she was sleepy.

She didn't want to nap in the end.

She rolled all over the mattresses in her room instead.
I contemplated asking her to attempt some rainy day painting, like painting a rainy scene with fork while seated watching the rain.
But she was having so much fun, I didn't.
What I did instead, I watched her.

I watched her attempting somersaults, jumping up and down the bolster and pretending it was a bridge connecting both her mattresses.

Then she took her cat puppet and the cat did the same.

And she laughed.  And repeated.
It was a lot of rolling and jumping. I lost count of how many times I told her to be careful.

She finally stopped to wipe the perspiration off her head.

But she still didn't want to nap.

So I went to cook dinner. The whole time, she sat at her table, playing with her doctor's kit. I came out to see Ducky bandaged in washi tape.

While the soup cook, I decided to do something I haven't done for a long while.
I went in and held her hands as I sang "Beauty and the Beast" and danced with her. 

She sang along.
When we finished the song, she ran off to her room to get her tutu skirt so she could put it on.
"We are princesss(es). Mama has a princess dress too."
Right. I was indeed wearing a dress.

I was so thrilled when she sang along that I sang more Disney songs.

She sang along.
We can't really dance but we twirled and we skipped.
We held hands and swung from side to side.

This rainy day, there was no lesson plans.

It was all J-led.

But this rainy day, I had the most fun.

Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow.

Today I was looking through my camera feed for something to post on Instagram.
Something to document my everyday.
I have resorted to social media for that, unfortunately.
It was then I realised how little photos of J I have in my camera feed as opposed to her little-baby days.

We used to take many selfies. Many a day.
That was a period where I was trying to establish the fact that I'm already a mom.
That I have a little person to care for and nurture, and that it was time to grow up.
Lil' J can't do much then and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to interact with her, so I turned to selfies. Capturing moments. Locking in those baby days.
The milestones.
Her puffy cheeks.
Her little hands.
That cheeky smile.
The tip-toe.

Then she grew a little older and started on more activities at grandma's.
I still took many photos then, to document the learning activities we expose her to, as well as her response to it.

I have no idea when the quantity of photos dwindled.
Perhaps it was when I decided to try to capture moments with my eyes and heart instead of the camera.
Or maybe activities nowadays involved doctor-play everyday. Or perhaps, she can play more independently now so I usually let her be while I busied myself with other things.


Today, I remembered how big she has grown. Her hair is so long now that we can tie a pretty decent pony tail.
I have noticed how much she has grown, and how fast that was, but sometimes, I forget.
I forget that she is only two-and-a-half, so even though most of the days she behaves like a big kid, there are times when she behaves just her age - and not that she was trying to be naughty.
I forget to give her cuddles and kisses some days, amidst the daily grind and
'me-time". (Yes, I do get quite a bit of "me-time" now.)
Sometimes, I even forget *gasp!* that she will continue to grow and not wait for me.


Tomorrow, I may not have more pictures of J in my phone. But I will continue to capture them in my heart.
I will attempt to slow time down, and enjoy every single moment, be it the happy ones or frustrating ones -those are part of her growing up too.
I will give her more hugs and kisses before she grows up and starts feeling awkward about them.

Wait, maybe I'll just do that later.

So grown up.

Since my last post, J does really seem to have grown up a lot.

The things she says.

Her actions.

Her train of thoughts.

Just last evening, I cut my finger while trying to cut an onion. I don't know why the knife can't differentiate those two but I got myself a slit on my finger and thank goodness my right hand knew better so it pulled the knife away before it got more bloody.

J does dinner preparation with me now so she was just beside me when it happened.

She didn't see my cut but was a little taken aback when I kept asking her to get me my bottle of lavender. I know she knows where I kept it ; I'm not sure if she knows which bottle it is.

A while later, she returned to the kitchen with a bottle of essential oil in her hands. "Here it is."
She must have taken a while to identify which bottle it was.
I'm so glad she got the right one.
She helped me apply pressure on my cut upon my request, and located the plasters for me.
Thank goodness (once again), she knows where those are too.

J used to be afraid of plasters, but she handed the box to me coolly. Then told me that she can "hi-five" the plaster because she is all grown up now. Then, in a very concerned tone, she asked, "Are you better now, mama?"
I was torn between giving her a tight hug and crying, because at that moment, my two-year-old felt so grown up
I gave her a hug.


Today, I had grand plans of having a nice shower while she naps but the nap didn't happen.
I tried my luck and told her to stay in the playroom while I take a shower. I suggested that she could read. When I walked past the room, I peeped in and saw this.

I returned to the same view after my (rather long) shower.

Tonight when The Husband was in the bath and I was trying to have dinner, J headed to the playroom. She was done with hers. I tried to persuade her to stay with me while I ate but she said,
"I'll be fine alone, mama, I have my animal friends."
And as I ate, I heard her reading out loud.
It did sound very interesting, and it continued till I was done with dinner.

She was really fine on her own.
So grown up.

I think I am growing.

"I think I am growing to become a big girl," she told me out of a sudden while we were grocery shopping this weekend.
"Why?"
"Because I can use the knife."

It turns out it was because I allowed her to use a knife to slice bananas for breakfast that morning.
We didn't allow her to touch knives for obvious reasons, but we didn't allow her to touch those from our cutlery set either. It was an "adult" thing in the family.
But I thought it was time to get her to do simple food preparation like spreading jam, and, well, slicing bananas, so I allowed it. With adult supervision, I emphasized.

She did a great job, by the way. I was expecting her to smash the banana but she did manage to slice them to the thickness I told her. Then at breakfast, Daddy asked for the ones she sliced up and gave her some too. I didn't know how proud she was until she made that statement.

The Husband's actions reminded me of something.

Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small.

It did make a difference when we showed interest in what she was learning and what she was capable of.

And as I was typing this, I was reminded of a post I wrote about my friend's child many years back. The photos are missing but you can still read them if you like.
 Yet another reminder for me,

Let them try.

Some afterthoughts on Ocean Week

I remember I said I had some afterthoughts about Ocean Week, which happened a few months ago. And then life went on and this sat in the Drafts folders. Until now.
I guess it's time.

Remember I said I was excited to start on themed activities because I feel like I'm finally on to something? And that I actually get to plan and prepare activities ahead? Most importantly, I finally felt useful. I don't know if all SAHMs feel this way but sometimes, I feel like I'm not contributing to anything at all. Not to the finances, not to the society.
Even though in reality, I know (after much assurances from my friends), that I am. Raising a child is a great deal. And being able to take charge of my child's learning makes me feel more empowered.

I started my first themed-learning the week we visited the aquarium and was bursting with confidence that it will work. I looked through the activities I had lined up for that week. Boy, aren't they fun? And I was excited to plan my next themed lesson.

Guess what?
It didn't work out after all!
All the activities I had planned for J are really simple ones and was supposed to keep her occupied for about 15 minutes. I didn't not include anything that's academic, like numeracy or literacy.
No numbers. No words. Easy-peasy and very age-appropriate I'd think.
I see how the other children are able to do it. It's all over the blogosphere, Instagram and Pinterest. That's where I got most of my inspirations from. There are 18-month-olds and 20-month-olds engaged in such activities for a long time, and they enjoyed themselves so surely my 23-month-old would find it fun too.

THAT's what went wrong.
And that's why I wish to share this.
I see many success stories about how the learning / sensory activities work with their children but I seldom see moms going "Oh. This didn't work out. Again. For the 1235th time."
Or, maybe I didn't search hard enough.

I was dead sure that something went wrong with my parenting somewhere along the way.
"Only five minutes? Why can't J continue with an activity for more than 15 minutes?"
"Did I give her too much bread? Bread contains sugar. Sugar rush?"
"Did I set up the materials wrongly? Maybe if I were to place the brushes this way, she would paint for a longer time."
"Did I lay out my invitation-to-play correctly?"
"Should I give her ten pebbles instead of five?"
"Maybe I should have used a bigger tray."
"Should I have sent her to school instead?"

I can hear my friend scolding me crazy already. You know who you are. ;)

So, after taking many showers, which so happen to be the only time I really get to think, I realised that parenting isn't like cooking, nor science.

There's no perfect recipe nor formula.

It's experimentation - lifelong experimentation.

All children are different.
They have different interests, different needs, different learning styles.
They learn at different paces, too. Yes, they do.
So, how can we expect them to all like the same thing, and respond the same way? At the same age?

So, what I learnt from Ocean week:

J seems to love to paint, so we planned for a few painting activities.
It turned out that washing the palette and playing with water sounds more fun than the actual painting. With each painting activity she does, the duration gets shorter. And we finally figured out that she has other agendas when she asks to paint - play with water.

My colouring activity didn't turn out well too because she is not interested in filling up the whole picture or page with colours. A friend in early childhood education told me that colouring is probably one things I should not do because it doesn't really do much to their learning. (Oh.)

The stamping activity didn't go as well either.
What actually worked, was the reading,. and the trip to the aquarium.


After what seemed like a long time, it finally clicked.
J wasn't ready for such activities. Yet.
Not now, but she will get there eventually. When she goes to school.
Right now, J needs to move around. I've also noticed that reading and pretend play keeps her occupied longer than any other toys I've gotten her, or any activities I've planned for.

It's okay that other children can do sit down activities, but J can't.
It's probably just not the way she learns now. And if learning and experiences are what are supposed to take place, then I think it's alright to do it in a way that interests the child.

We go out more now. We take trips to the parks and bird parks and the aquarium.
We've been to the aquarium twice after Ocean Week, and each time she learns something new.
"I Explore: Under the sea" complements the aquarium trip very well so we have been borrowing it from the library. We talk about our trips all the time.

She has seen the dolphins coming to her.
She has seen the diver.
She's touched sea stars and learnt textures.
During our last visit, she got curious about the fishes we see so we looked through the information boards and learnt their names.

So, even though planning activities gave me a certain sense of accomplishment, I am stopping them for now. Not that great a feeling for me since I'm back to "almost no contribution", but that does give me more time for myself.
I'm still collecting ideas and saving them for next time though.
We are back to spontaneity.
There is no structure.
No schedule.

Now that the haze seems to have gone away for good (this year), the grandparents are taking J out to the parks and beaches more often. I'm learning to take J out on my own and not lose my mind (or my child) in the process. And The Husband has been enthusiastic about giving her new experiences every weekend so we explore different places (other than the library and supermarkets) and learning still takes place. So that's not so bad.

And what's most important, J is happy and truly enjoyed herself.
I think that's all that matters.

The second year of motherhood

I looked back at the post I wrote when J turned one.
And I know I'll wonder what the second year of motherhood was like when I hit the third. So here's it is. You're welcomed, future self.

J has grown from the scrawny baby to a strong little girl to an even stronger little-big girl. I don't know where she gets her strength from, but she's definitely not a toddler to mess with. I just watched Frozen that day (finally!) and as much as I try not to princess-ify things, J does resemble Anna. Strong, fearless, optimistic, and quite caring.
And feisty.
Definitely not the girly-girl I thought she would turn out to be.

And she has grown so tall, and so big. I think my mum really fed her well. Her height is off the charts now and I'm glad. I remember I used to fret about her food intake and feel like a lousy mom about not feeding her well.

*****

These are what I talked about after I survived the first year of motherhood. Let's see if things have changed.

Sleep. What sleep?
Well, there is light at the end of the tunnel - we do get sleep after all!
Eventually.

J has been sleeping through the night, thankfully. Other than a few random occasions where she wakes up and asks for milk, I've managed to get my seven-hours-undisturbed sleep. Well, most of the time.
Sometimes I wonder if she did actually wake up but I was too tired to notice. It could have happened.

My baby is not eating. Much.

Ah. This.
Now my baby eats too much.
That's quite a happy thing though.
(Okay. My back and arms protested but hey, we've come a long way!)

My baby doesn't really sleep a lot.

This hasn't changed. J still doesn't sleep a lot. 
She naps only once a day. Sometimes only for an hour. 
Every time I look at those infographics and charts on a child's sleep, J will be at least two hours short of the recommended hours. 
I gave up feeling bad about it. If she's happy everyday, she should be getting enough sleep. Maybe she just doesn't sleep so much. I also found out that I'm not alone so all's good.

I have to take baby out? How?

Going out is getting even easier now. Less logistics, less things to carry around. Being able to eat adult food eases the load I have to carry too. J now asks to go to the toilet when we are out so I bring only one piece of spare diaper. (My other problem would be that she asks to go to the toilet too much. Half the time to go wash her hands and play with water.)

But going out with her alone is getting increasingly challenging. It's tough without her stroller especially when she decides to sleep. I tried once and ended up with a really painful back. With the stroller, I'll have to choose between them both. I'm still trying though.


I ended with this:

"I'm now bracing myself for the terrible twos.

Bring it on!"

Now that we are at that stage, whoa. Some days are good, and some drives me nuts.
It turns out that the terrible twos are not just about meltdowns.
It's about testing boundaries and pushing limits.
It's about dealing with what looks like defiance, but is actually the testing of boundaries in disguise.
It's about maintaining sanity (for the parent).
Ho-ho!!! Not easy!
Most days I try to keep calm and parent on, but some days, especially on the days I'm really tired, I become the crazy-yelling-jumping-around-while-flailing-arms-at-the-same-time-momma.

*Breathe*

I don't even have questions for myself now because everyday is essentially the same.
Testing of boundaries.
Trying to maintain sanity.

BUT...

Oh, so much joy.
(Yes, that is true. Even though temper tantrums and meltdowns are more frequent now.)

{Dear Baby} TWO!

This came a few days late but J was back to the night time struggle of "I-want-to-sleep-no-I-don't-want-to" and it's getting more challenging with the twos. But here is it. Happy birthday, sweetheart.


Dear Baby,

Thank you for another wonderful year. 

Two years ago, you made me a mom, and I couldn't be more grateful that it's you. I looked back at the letter a wrote to you a year ago. Some things have changed, but some things remain the same. 

You're as insistent as you were about independence. Much more now.
We are having this power struggle lately where you have opinions on what to wear, what to eat, what shoes to buy. Sometimes, I'm not even sure if I should laugh or cry at tour new-found independence. It drives me a little crazy sometimes.

You can now self-feed, and as much as I was worried about the cup milestone, you are now able to drink from the cup by yourself, albeit late. You really learn so much faster from other children.

You now dress yourself when I lay out your clothes for you, if you want to.

And you can now put on your own socks. We're still working on the shoes but you're halfway there.

At two, I can safely say that you're fully potty-trained now, even though we still put your diapers on at night and when we go out for long periods, as a precautionary measure. (Edit: We are on Day 2 of diaper-free nights!) It's been a month so I think I won't jinx myself.

19 months ago, I was worried about you the whole time, because at three months of age, you appear to not like interaction - you just stare and not respond. Little did I know that you were observing what's going around. Now, you just keep talking and narrating little stories of your experiences (like the air gun at Polliwogs, and our aquarium trip). You sing and hum too, and you're getting the melodies right. You do have quite a repertoire of songs. You're back to babbling made-up words too. I think that's a toddler thing?

Quiet activities (other than reading) don't seem to be as enjoyable for you as outdoor activities are. You prefer to be on the go. So full of energy. Imaginative play is still your favourite form of play and you are pretty good at it. We're at the princess-phase lately. I guess every little girl goes through that stage. Just that day you picked out a skirt "because Elsa wears this."

I've noticed a few qualities about you that I hope stays with you throughout your life.

Sensibility - if you noticed that I'm unwell or hurt, you'll come over voluntarily and give me a hug.

You do the same to other family members as well. When popo had to go take care of great-grandma, you told her to "go,go." Even though we know that you very much wanted her to take care of you for that day.

Empathy - You look on with concern when you see a little child cry. When we injure ourselves, you place your hand on us and asks gently, "are you okay?"

Being true to yourself - I'm not sure if this is also a child-thing but you are true to your feelings. If you're happy, you are. If you're angry, you'll also let us know why. It's always honest. No hiding.

Giving - You don't really give yet. But when we are at the playground and a younger child follows behind you, you'll always move aside and let them go down the slide first.

Love of reading - You love to read. You still do. One day I couldn't see you around me and I called out to you to find out where you were. "I'm reading!" That response warms my heart so much. I hope that love of reading and learning stays.

Continue to be curious, be fun. be strong and be brave.
Like you are now.

I know that I might have yelled at you a few times when you were mischievous. But you are always a blessing to me. You'll always be.

Because of you, I've become stronger. 

Thank you for being you. 

I love you to bits.

Smooches and Cuddles,
Mommy

{Dear Baby} 23. Almost Two!

Dear Baby,
Half the month was spent with a cough and a runny nose, but you are a bundle of sunshine as usual and unless you were really uncomfortable, you didn't cry or fuss much. Thank you for making it easy for me when we are worried sick whenever you had fever, or when you threw up your phlegm together with milk. You've no idea how much your bright smile and boundless energy (oh yes, even when you are unwell) makes me feel more at ease.
Being able to tell us that "my throat pain pain" makes it so much easier for us.

Words
Speaking of communication, you are also exploring emotions now.
The other day we didn't allow you to do something (I can't recall what it is), you surprised us by saying "TT is angry." And you could tell us the reason why.

You see a character in TV crying, you tell me "Aunty sad sad."
(Opps. You are not supposed to have screen-time but we are relacing the rules a little since you are turning two soon!)

That day you fed Ah Gong coffee, which is your favourite activity by the way - feeding us, you said out loud, "TT is very happy. Because TT feed Ah Gong."

You are also starting to give very loud and patronising laughs that goes like this.
"HA. HA. HA."


Dressing up
We see more even more independence this month.
Even though you have difficulty pulling your shorts up all the way, you still try and yay! you can now put on your shorts by yourself!
Putting on your socks is the next challenge you set for yourself. I think trying to put on my bedroom socks helped. I can see that gave you a huge confidence boost that you can do it.
You can also retrieve the milk bottle from the cot by yourself now, and you are so proud about it. Using the same technique and improvising a little, you also managed to get the ball out in Daiso by yourself when we refused to help you take it. There's just no stopping you, isn't it?

There is no way to contain you in the house either. Absolutely no way. It used to be shut-the-door-and-you-won't-be-able-to-enter. But now you can open every single door. Even the very heavy household shelter door. You can even lock and unlock the door.

And that pajama struggle? We got that this month!
You insisted on putting on pajamas that we don't even own.
We don't have any pajamas that are orange, baby...!

You can now tie your hair into a cute little ponytail! Oh, I love it.
One day you even attempted to put on the hairclip by yourself. Not bad!


Negotiation
We see negotiation taking place as well.

"Mummy! (in your sweetest voice ever.) Can I watch Hi-5?"
"Polite word?"
"Peeeasee?"
I looked on as if I was considering.
"One. One only. After that, close the laptop."
And if I did not respond, you will say it in Mandarin while holding up your finger to indicate "ONE".

And when you make us do things, we don't even know of we should laugh or cry because it sounds so demanding.
"I WANT this."
"TT do it myself."

And when you are sweet and polite about it,
"TT feed mama. Okay?"
"Jiu jiu carry TT. Okay?"
No.....


Logic
I enjoy observing this most.

You enjoy playing with that kiddy basketball setup that jiujiu has in his room so you make him carry you for a slam dunk all the time. He gave you a teddy to put in (because we thought that would stop you from asking to put the ball in) and that got stuck. But you still insisted and when we told you the bear is there, "Take bear out then can put in the ball already."

You saw your wet apron hanging to dry.
"Apron wet wet. TT cannot wear this."

Boy, you are talking up a storm aren't you?


Play
Play this month involved a lot of imagination.
You made us go up the escalator while we were in the playroom.
You walk around singing with an invisible mic (I think you picked that up from grandpa).
And whenever you had problems sitting down quietly while we were travelling in the bus, and I reminded you to sit down, you will do so quietly then pretend to fasten your seatbelt. I love it when you look at me and go "fasten your seatbelt." *nod*.

We also explored painting with different techniques other than the paintbrush. You did hand-printing, as well as vegetable and fruit painting.

We also attended two trial sessions at My Gym. We missed the third one due to the haze.


A big girl now
You really are a big girl now. You're even more meticulous than me and that makes it difficult to leave the house without you now. Whatever I forget to bring along, you will always ask "What's that?" and I'll remember.

I'm sorry and a little embarrassed that I'm reliant on you this way.
But I'm really glad that you are my trusty little helper.
Thank you, love.


Cuddles and Smooches,
Mommy

Look mom! New tooth!

It's the teething season again.

I really hate dislike the teething season. 

I know I used to be so thrilled at every new tooth J sprouted that I kept a record of which teeth came out first. It's somewhere in my monthly letters to her.

That was when she didn't have any tooth. Even when she did, she didn't bite that hard. I actually loved it when she bit my chin with her gums.

As J grew older, teething got more challenging and uncomfortable. My sweet little girl goes into a rampage every teething season. She gets cranky easily, which is unusual since she is usually quite happy. She pulls out hair, yanks our spectacles off our faces, all while gritting her teeth. She becomes a scary little person and during the initial days when this happened, I thought it was all part of toddlerhood. It was so frustrating for me that she displays these bad behaviour and I doubted if I was doing the whole parenting thing right at all.

It took me a long while but we finally figured out that J behaves like that because she desperately needs to bite/ soothe her gums. 

These couple of days, I called J "naughty" more often than I wanted to. I smacked her hands more -she's either kicking her books (which she knows she isn't supposed to), or pulling our hair, or just tossing things around. I saw acts of defiance, and acts that challenges the boundaries we set. We had been tolerant towards these behaviours because it coincided with her throat infection and she was quite unwell. But they didn't go away after she recovered. 

Last night on the bus, she yanked my spectacles out twice and squeezed them in her hands. She's tiny but she's strong. I freaked out. She pulled my hair. She kicked up a major fuss in the bus. She kicked two men who walked past us - on purpose. Back home, she kicked the books. Her daddy scolded her and she came running to me, crying out for "Mama!!"

Then, she BIT and tugged on my shorts.

She pulled away after a while then went "Mama!!" and chomped on my shorts again.

That's when it occurred to me -- J is teething! 

We pulled out the Under the Nile banana.

She took it and stuffed it into her mouth, and bit on it while she went off to play with her toys. The Husband was with her and when I checked, she was perfectly okay.

This morning, when I sensed a temper tantrum coming on, I asked if she wanted the banana. She said yes and this happened.

My lifesaver!

We have had this Under the Nile toy for a while now. Wasn't quite expecting the banana to make a comeback but I'm glad it did! Check out the wet portion of the banana!

{Dear Baby} 22 months old

Hey Cuddle-buddy,

22 months already!
We all know you can't wait to be a big girl because anything that we say is a big-girl-thing, you will want to do it, and you do so with enthusiasm and pride.

The big girl things
I never know how much pride a child can have when we allow them independence until I see it in you.
That grin you have on your face when you walked out of the bathroom instead of being carried out - priceless.
The insistence on "trying" to put on your diapers and pants - you won't give up until you have a shot at it. And you are doing pretty well! I'm happy you are learning to dress yourself, even though that also meant you have strong opinions on what to wear. I'm even happier that the motivation, and resilience to learn new things, is still there.

Words
You had been humming songs for quite a while now, but this month, we hear you sing an entire song as you walk around the house. You know, just doing your thing and singing along.

Other than the nursery rhymes, we also hear you sing some Chinese children's songs. In fact, I think this is the "Mandarin" month - Mandarin dominated. You ask questions in Mandarin, you answer them in Mandarin, more often than English. Stay bilingual, baby. Keep it that way.

The "What's that?" have begun.
Every single sound you hear. I think I say "water pipes" at least 763890 times each night. I'm sorry sometimes I secretly curse at the neighbours, especially when you are already drifting off to sleep.
And just as we approach your 22nd month, even things you see for the first time, we get the "What's that?" That makes about 123986374 "What's that?" per day. Not complaining! I'm happy you are inquisitive, and that you are actually listening.

The kids-say-the-darnest-things moments have started in the house.
One day, out of the blue, you said that you have a baby in your tummy.
I was dumbfounded but you looked pretty serious about it.
A couple of days later, you went "Mummy's tummy have baby. TT is a jiejie."
Sorry, but no. Not yet, at least.

Bedtime can be quite a struggle because you want to chat so much. We'll be in bed by 9, and some nights, you will just go on till 11. I'll have to be honest that it drives Momma nuts sometimes! (See: "water pipes")

And here are some new phrases Mommy absolutely loves:
"All of 'em. ALL of 'em."
"No wonder" but you use that wrongly 100% of the time, and you've stopped saying it already.
"I think ..."
"I guess so."


Oh! And you can sing "Home" and "Part of your world" together with me. Love it!!


Daddy
This month, Daddy has become the most important person.
Before you sleep, Daddy has to be the one to change you into your pjs  and tuck you in bed.
When you wake, the person you ask for, after your "milk!", is Daddy.
We suspect that you start to miss Daddy a lot after we have had two sleepovers per week over at Grandma's.
You either want to cuddle Daddy to sleep, or if he is working, you'd rather be in the study room together with him so that you can "watch Daddy" to sleep.


Fun
We celebrated our nation's 50th birthday and even though you are too little to understand what it is about, we tried to get you involved. You saw fireworks on the eve of National Day and the days that follow, we get masterpieces from you. Precious!

Swimming gets more interesting now that you enjoy jumping into the pool. The last we went, you even wanted to "swim on own" without any floatation devices!


At 21 month old, you are already a responsible little person. You help me with the room checks each day before we leave the house - you help me check that the windows are closed, fans switched off, trash is cleared and that I lock the doors on the way out. What would I do without your help?
(I forgot the trash. That's what happened.)


Thank you, baby, for all the fun and tears. Mainly laughs this month, I'd say.
And I say this many times, but I want to say it again,
Thank you for being my daughter. I'm lucky to be your mom.


Cuddles and smooches,
Mommy

School? Or no school?

We are back to the question of "Do we send J to school?"

This question has been popping up rather frequently after J turned 18 months old. I've talked to my mum umpteen times about it. I've discussed with the hubby for months. I even spoke to my close friends about it. Pretty sure they are sick of my ding-dong-ing by now. Sorry girls! 

The last time I broached this topic, we decided that Grandma School is doing fine. Well, it still is. 

J gets her outdoor fun, nature walks and occasional swims (we don't really have luck with the pool. It's either closed or temporarily closed due to lightning alerts). 

She gets her sensory play and doodling sessions almost daily.

She gets story time with every adult in the house.

She is learning from play, through play, and other experiences, which is what I want. I think sitting down and doing worksheets can wait till formal school. I'm not eager to start her on phonics, yet. But I'd love for her to be in touch with nature as much as possible right now because I know that once she goes to Primary School, schoolwork will take up a huge portion of her time. Please tell me I'm wrong.

The only thing we are unable to provide - little friends. And that's the one thing she really need now. Friends. Interaction with children her age.

Decisions have to be made soon since it's the enrolment period for most playgroups. It's down to programmes I like vs the price tags. I really would prefer J not to start on academics so soon.

1. Julia Gabriel's PlayClub ($$$$$)

I like their programmes most. From the reviews I read, it's more play and not so much academics (phonics, counting etc) but good things don't come cheap. I've yet to formally ask about the fees yet but from what I gathered, it's easily $1000+.

2. Grandma School + My Gym ($$$)

Stick to Grandma School and attend gym classes once a week. From what I understand, it can satisfy J's needs for physical activities, and she gets to attend "school" once a week. And interact with the other children!

This is not as pricey as JG, but still, quite a strain on our pockets. 

3. Just Grandma School. 

And friends can wait till next year.

This is probably the most tormenting option for J - no little friends!

Or we could pop by the playgrounds and try our luck to see if we can make some friends. I used to make friends just by going to the playground, you know? 

Where are the other children?

4. Look for fellow SAHMs on Facebook.

Because Facebook is everything right now. I'd love this option but I also do have an unexplainable fear of meeting people I know online. 

5. (Dream on...) Go to some other countries and stay for a while

Okay. This option will never happen but I'm just going to put it down. Maybe Santa will see it and decide to give me an early X'mas present. I see the toddler reading library programmes some countries have. I see playgroups that focuses on play. I see the vast space they have and the endless opportunities the children gets to play in nature. So much envy. (But we have peace and stability.)

Ugh. 

Alright, let's put an end to this dreaming.

Anyway, I thought that thinking aloud may help ease the decision-making but it looks like this mental tug-of-war will last for a while. If I'm still up at 1am, that tells a lot. Fingers cross that I will be able to arrive at a decision soon! 

Edit: I've purchased three sessions of trial classes for My Gym. They are currently having the SG50 promotion. It's really worth it since the usual trial class is at $50 each.

Lessons from the Bub: Being aware

J is starting to vocalize her thoughts.
It's a wonderful thing because you get to know what she thinks.
And a toddler's thoughts are often so genuine. And mostly, funny.

There have been the amusing ones like "Mama, stay here," when she wants to walk to the towel on her own, to dry her hands. She even turns back to check that I'm not following her. I don't know if I should laugh or cry at this one.
Or the "Mama's belly button big.. TT's belly button small." 
Even her "TT don't cry!" when she doesn't get her way, is funny. It's like a verbal reminder to herself.

But these two days, she has been saying things that have taken me aback, and made to stop to think and reflect what I have done as a mother. They are also the ones that made me write this post.



She was trying to use her leg to open her door. Very naturally, I gestured to hit her leg, playfully. I didn't in the end, because the next thing I heard:  "Mama don't hit TT leg."

That day I was drying her after her shower and she was on her tummy, I hit her on her butt cheeks. She was being playful. It wasn't a spank, but it didn't turn out as gentle as I wanted to either.
Then I saw the tiny scar on her butt cheek. I don't know how she got it but it has appeared after she complained of pain some months back. "Does it hurt?" I asked.
"Ya... Mama hit TT."

Just a while ago, my back was hurting so terribly that I don't really know what I was doing anymore.
It was already 1 hour plus since we have attempted to "go to bed".
She was at the potty, and I had to clean her up. I pulled the onesie up and buttoned it up over her shoulders so that the pyjamas will not get wet when I wash her up. She didn't want to because her hair got caught between the snap buttons before, and it hurt. But I convinced her to, anyway.
I proceeded to unbutton the onesie after I was done. I was on auto-pilot.
Suddenly she spoke, with a little pout, so subtle that you can almost miss it. But I heard it in her voice. "TT ear painful. Mama hit TT's head. Mama open button SO hard."
She repeated the same phrase again when we were in bed.

"TT's ear painful. Mama open the button SO hard."
Wow. That hurt.
Because quite honestly, I didn't even realise that. Did I hit her accidentally?
I remember I was being grumpy, and in pain, and tired. I wasn't aware of how much force I had used to unbutton those snap buttons.

I thought.
Then I realised that I was also unaware of her feelings when it comes to my instinctive gestures.
Those so-called "natural" and "instinctive" gestures - my toddler didn't like them.
Of course she doesn't. Now that I put myself in her shoes, I wouldn't have, too.
But people do it often right? The "pretend-spank" and the "hit-the-bum". They somehow seem like a very normal adult-thing to do.
They are, right? Do you all do that too? Or am I the only one?



Anyhow, I'm glad my toddler spoke up. I'm glad she vocalized her thoughts and told me how she felt.
I wouldn't have known otherwise.
We usually don't think that much when we interact with toddlers, do we?
I'm not saying we should give in to them all the time.
Or over-think how they might feel and let that hinder discipline.
Or give up on fun altogether.

Just be a little bit more aware of what we say and what we do.
Because toddlers have feelings too.

One more thing for me to take note of, and learn in this journey of parenthood.
Thank you, love.

Making it better.

It's been more than one week since my last post.

During that one week, I read through articles on toddler discipline and temper tantrums.
I didn't specifically google them. They just showed up in my feed while I was trying to distract myself with Pinterest. It's amazing, yet a little creepy at the same time how Pinterest seem to "know".

I had a long post drafted. I didn't publish it because I wasn't quite done with editing yet.
It is a post about how the tips in the articles work.

Then we took a bus again.
I thought that J would sit still through the ride after the good experience I had once during that few days, and a pep talk from her grandparents. But nope. She started standing on my leg barely 5minutes after we left our stop.
So I guess the fancy post stays in the "Draft" folder.

But a couple of things I did learn though.


1. Stay calm.
This appears in almost all the articles I read. But this is also one of those "easier said than done" things to do. It's quite challenging to stay calm when your child is attempting gymnastics moves on a crowded bus. Or when she has already pulled off a too many strands of hair off your scalp. Or smacked you right in the face with your glasses on.

This takes a lot of conscious effort. For me, at least.
I have to take a deep breath and hold my tongue (and hands) before I do/say anything I might regret.
Some days I mentally bite my tongue so that I don't end up yelling.
Some days, I force myself to smile so that I don't end up with "STOPPPPPP!" *smack*

Staying calm does not make the toddler squirm less or behave better.
But staying calm did prevent the frustration from escalating.
I was once stupid enough to ask my toddler, nicely, if she would like to stay in the bus while mama goes home. I didn't get to sleep that night.

When I am calm, I noticed that J does listen a little better.
At least we are not engaged in a scream-yell-wail battle.



2. Recognise their feelings.
This is another one I see appearing in most articles.
I didn't realise how powerful it was until I tried it that day.

We were in the supermarket.
J pulled the typical toddler "scream-in-supermarket-and-trash-around" stunt, while pulling my spectacles off my face. I got really angry because I specially chose a pair of spectacles that can withstand smacking. Pulling, not so much.

She was already planking on my arms (think Superman pose) and I did contemplate pinching her to keep her quiet. I'm sorry I even had such thoughts. Thank goodness I stopped myself and remembered she hasn't eaten anything yet. I gave myself an imaginary smack on the head and asked her if she was hungry and sleepy. Surprisingly, she stopped whatever she was doing and gave me a sad look, followed by a nod.

"Okay. Mommy knows you are hungry so I'm going to make you some milk, alright?"
She asked for the stroller, softly. (Yes! No screaming!!)
"But we left the stroller at home. So let's go outside, Mommy make you some milk and I'll carry you when you drink, ok?"
*nods*
"Come, let me give you a hug."

And that's it.
A tight hug from her.
We made the milk.
She drank it.
NO. FUSS.

So powerful.


We tried it again a few times at the malls when we sensed a tantrum happening and it worked.
Sometimes, she would even remind herself "TT* don't cry."
*confetti*




3. Manage expectations.
This is, perhaps, the most important point for me to note.
It took so long for me to figure this out but better late than never.

I expected J to be Little Miss Prim-and-Proper, quiet in her seat throughout the bus ride.
I was one myself (quite!), so I think it is attainable.
I've also seen preschoolers who are capable of it.

That's probably where the problem lies.
I forgot that my daughter is a very active and extremely curious 20-month-old. Not a preschooler.
She's always on the go. (Sigh... I feel exhausted just typing this.)
She needs to move around.
She needs to look at that baby sitting across the aisle.
Or play with the lady sitting behind us.
Or catch the attention of the grandma a few seats back.

I remember reading somewhere that having a toddler in a confined space is recipe for crazy because at their age, they just. have. to. move.
I guess I'm pushing it a little to expect her to be well-behaved through two 50-minutes bus ride each day. After I got this right, the squirms and standing on the seat become a little more bearable.

We are still working on discipline, though, because I believe that eventually, she will have to learn to behave herself. But at least for now, there's less frustrations, I'm a lot happier and she is a lot happier.





* Among good friends and family, we call J "TT" so she calls herself that too.

Today, I judged my kid.

I don't exactly know how to start.

This is one of those days where J gets all squirmy and wriggly in the bus. She does that quite often when she uses up her "GOOD". Yes, I actually think she has a quota. When she's well-behaved in the day, my bus ride gets pretty "exciting". When she is exceptionally good and sweet that day, she becomes a little terror in the bus.

Today, she squirmed and wriggled.

And pulled my hair.

She wasn't even noisy. She was just squirming.

For the entire 50 minutes, she didn't stop moving. She couldn't stay in her seat too, so she kept struggling to get off the seat. In the process, the people sitting opposite us suffered a few kicks on their knees. 

It wasn't the worst day. She had pulled out my spectacles and smacked me on the face before. Only that today, the bus is less crowded and I can see the expressions on others' faces.

The two people sitting opposite us didn't look quite happy, obviously. The moment J kicked the man opposite us, accidentally, he'll brush his pants. I apologised but I think he didn't hear me. He had his earphone on. The lady, had a smile when she first sat down and that quickly turned into a stern look. I hope it was due to the text she received and not J. Or maybe that's just her "not-smiling" look.

I also saw bewildered looks, as well as looks of sympathy on some faces. I really hope it was only because I was too sensitive, but these thoughts raced through my head.

"This mother can't even control her kid. Tsk."

"Oh my goodness. This is one hyperactive kid!"

"Why didn't she tie up her hair?"

(This one, I have the answer to. Because I've tried multiple ways. Top knot, buns.. With hair ties or hair clips. None worked. The only way is to shave my head. Not kidding at all.)

"Why didn't she discipline her kid?"

(I contemplated hitting her, but what good does it do to spank a 20-month-old? Do they get it?)

That's when I felt my cheeks flush.

Not with anger, but from embarrassment.

I was embarrassed that my child was behaving like this in the bus. And it got worse when I remembered I was facing everyone else. 

For a moment, I wondered if J is just being a typical, curious toddler? Or is she hyperactive? Or, does she have any underlying issues I'm unaware of? ADHD?

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. 

I was exasperated.

I was certain that everyone was judging me. That my kid is probably "special". I don't want them to think that way. Now, as I'm writing this, I feel horrible for feeling this way.

Throughout the whole trip, I concerned myself with what I feel others would think. And those were not good thoughts. They made me feel that my child wasn't good enough. I was still embarrassed when we reached home.

It didn't help that she simply laid on the floor and didn't want to take off her shoes by herself today. (It didn't even occur to me that she has these moments because she's tired. I just figured that out.)

It was only when J ran to take her daddy's boxers from the dresser because she knew he was getting ready to shower, that it struck me.

I had judged my child. 

And I judged her based on what others see.
People who share a few minutes on the bus with us. People who didn't matter.

I forgot about the wonderful things she did that those people don't see.
Things that warmed the hearts of the people close to us.
Things that made me cry in the middle of the night because I'm thankful I have her as my daughter.

The smile every morning when she wakes; she doesn't whine in the morning.

The kisses she plants on us when we are injured, or unwell.

That look of concern when she thinks someone is hurt. Anyone.

The hugs she gives because she knows when we are feeling down.

The sudden "I love you!"

The request for family hugs.

Her independence, and readiness to try new things.

Her eagerness in helping around the house.

Her sensibility.

And by the simple fact that she takes a new pair of her daddy's boxers to the bathroom because she knows he is getting ready to shower. Without us telling her to.

I forget I often think that she's the best thing that has happened to me. A rather easy baby. And a very cheerful one.

I really want to kick myself for judging her. I can see some of you kicking me virtually already. 
That reminds me of this one quote I want to remember.

{Grandma School} Nature-texture walk

It's been long.

My life pretty much came to a standstill during that one week most Singaporeans would remember. I could still function as a mother but other than that, I couldn't quite find the motivation to do anything else. After that, mother duties took over.

I returned to write an angry letter to my future grown-up self. Let's hope that we will never have to resurface this letter. Ever.

It's time to document Grandma school again. I doubt I can do it weekly. Let's try for as-frequently-as-possible. Because, Mother duties. 

*****

This was a couple of weeks ago.

Our neighbour stayed over at her grandpa's, which is really near popo's. Small world,eh?

So by eight in the morning, the party was ready to head off to the park.
It's like the kids knew there was an adventure waiting for them.
They were exceptionally cooperative that morning.

After the few nature walks we had, J is starting to display interest in leaves so I thought of allowing her to touch the dried leaves and flowers if she wanted to. I wasn't expecting it but going for the nature walk with friends turned out to be a whole new experience.

The girls picked twigs from the ground, walked on dried leaves to listen to the sound.
They touched the morning glory because that was the only flower we spotted that was within reach.

"See this purple flower?"
"That's the morning glory."
"Touch the petals. So soft, isn't it?"
Toddlers love to touch, it seems. Both girls had a go at stroking the flowers.


They watched ants. We think they are ants but the ones we saw are huge.

There were less birds than usual but we tried spotting some anyway.

As we headed out, we saw a bridal photoshoot taking place and J was in awe of the scene. She didn't want to leave. We thought it was because of the huge balloon props they had. We later realised that she thought the bride is yiyi.


We picked up leaves along the way.

As we approached the end of the trail, the girls warmed up and decided to sit on the ground and play with the leaves ad twigs instead.  It was interesting to watch because I don't think J would play like that if she was alone.

The one thing I like going out with friends is that we tend to do things that wouldn't have occurred to me. Like drumming. The toddlers each took a stick and they hit on the 'log' (which doubles up as signages) to listen to the sound it makes. I wouldn't have thought of that.

The simple nature walk turned into a sensory walk I wasn't expecting.
I was secretly thrilled.
And it was obvious that J enjoyed the new experience of going out with friends.

It was wonderful. And I'd love to do it again soon! 

A letter to my "grown-up" self

Hey, you.

Yes, you. 

Sorry, but I may not be very polite here. But I'll try.

I have no idea how old you are right now but if you are reading this, I'm pretty sure you need a reminder so here it goes.

However jarring it may be, read on.

*

I say it all the time.

I don't want to grow up.

People laugh.

Here's the thing. I don't mind growing old. I embrace growing old. I'll embrace all of adulthood's responsibilities BUT I don't want to grow up.

Do you recall? We've come across many grown-ups in my life who are plagued with the awful disease of denial and "I'm always right." We loathe that behaviour. It made our blood boil as we struggle to stop ourselves from talkin sense to them.

They tend to choices that unwise, which is fine because everyone makes mistakes. But what is not okay is thay they do not face up to it and admit that they are wrong/ in the wrong.

Don't you remember?

Let me quote you an incident that changed our lives; that made me determined to make sure we don't grow up at all and that we will, become the voices of children. 

Child puts mug at the edge of the dining table. That's the furthest he could reach. Adult walks in and bumps onto dining table. Mug falls. Adult said, in a blaming tone, "Tsk. Who put the mug here?"

Now, who's fault is it?

The child who bothered to put an object where it belongs? Or the adult who did not pay attention and bump onto the table?

Perhaps, both. 

But is it right to push the blame on the child immediately?

And we've come across a few parents, who are clearly in the wrong, but refused to admit it nor apologise to their child(ren). Just because they are parents.  We vowed never to be like that. We grew up in a household where whoever is in the wrong apologises. It doesn't matter adult or kid.

The husband agrees too. We agreed that it is perfectly alright to apologise to our child(ren) if we are in the wrong. I hope you are not plagued with that disease right now.

The "I'm always right" disease. 

Simply because, ADULTS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. Period.

I don't sound too friendly now, do I? Perhaps even hostile? That's because I'm really mad. And annoyed. And if that was how exactly you felt when you were sixteen. And eighteen. Even thirty.

We've also came across adults, at various points of time in our life, some we know very well, some we think we know very well, some, we work with. They complain that their kids are insensible. Or immature. And I look at what they do and think, boy, they are worse. 

And they don't admit it. Denial. 

At least teens will go "Right. I'm childish. Got a problem with that?"

See, the thing is, some grown-ups think they know it all, that they are always right, and mature, and sensible. But actions have proven that, they are not quite. Not quite mature. Sometimes even extremely juvenile. But they don't admit it. And they don't listen. We used to despise that behaviour too. I hope you are not that right now. 

Remember, we hated the disease that consumes a grown-ups innocence. We believe there should still be some. The disease that makes them so self-centred. 

It could be stress from the modern society, or changing hormones. Whatever it is, remember we don't like it and we promise to be different. 

I hope you are not on the path of no-return. I hope you can stop growing up and start growing old instead. 

You can do it. 

You are a child at heart.

Awaken that inner child.

And be a really awesome adult.

All the best!

Love, 

Your 31-year-old self

This letter is written in response to the things I've seen and stories I've heard lately. i'm bemused by how sometimes, adults can be so ridiculous. 

And I'm somehow convinced that being middle-age increases the risk of being a little unreasonable and overbearing. In case I cannot escape that fate, this letter serves as a reminder. And I'm behaving  like an asshole, shove this up my face. 

Proud to be here

Dear Sir,

I walked to my mother's house from the bus stop. It could have been miles and miles of kampung roads, under the hot sun.

I walked with my baby, strapped to me.

SAFE.

I could have been fearing for my safety.

When I travel, I got these from locals or fellow travellers.

"You can speak Mandarin so well!"

"You don't have a Chinese accent when you speak English!"

I wouldn't have been able to do it without you.

I'm now an SAHM by choice.

I could have been a housewife because I wasn't educated. Because I didn't have a choice. 

We achieved so much in 50 years. And that's remarkable. I'm proud to be a daughter of Singapore. Thank you, dear Sir. Thank you for everything you've done.

Love,

A daughter of Singapore

The dilemmas of a mother

When you were really quiet during the first three months, just staring and giving what appears to be condescending looks (we know they are not), and when your smiles are so precious because they are so rare, I wished you would be more friendly.
Now you stop to wave and smile at everyone, make sure they enter the lift as you stay behind to watch the lift go up, high-five random people we see at the malls, I thought "My baby is too friendly."

When you were little and quiet, just lying there on the mattress, I wished you were more active.
Now that you are a ball of energy, I get really tired and wish you would slow down a little.

When you refused milk in the past, I wished you drank more. Now I worry if you are over eating.

When you were little, I wished you would grow up faster so that we can have tea parties. But now that you are bigger, I wish time slows down a bit and that you don't grow up so quickly. 

I wished you'd learn how to self-feed soon but when you really do attempt, I secretly groan as I watch spoonfuls of porridge drop onto the floor. (Clean-up is not so fun when you are an adult, baby.)

There are some things that I say you are "too little" to do, but some things you had to because you are "big enough already."
(I tried not to confuse you by splitting the age into five categories: 
small baby, big baby, small/little girl, big girl, adult.)

You are now big baby+ little girl. I use that interchangeably. So there are some things you can do, and some you can't. But I guess you are confused. I get confused sometimes too.


I guess being a mother, I'm going to have a lot of questions and a lot more dilemmas in future.
That's motherhood, isn't it?

The things I wished someone told me about making photobooks

So, I mentioned that I made a few blunders when I was creating my photo books.
They are probably not stupid, I hope.

I also, somehow, lost the first project I worked on.
I had been working on it for weeks, sacrificing sleep, so you can imagine how devastating that was. (I could have deleted it accidentally while doing housekeeping. Bummer.)
But it was a blessing in disguise and I learnt a thing or two.
I worked a lot faster for the subsequent books once I figured out where I went wrong, and started on a simple system. (If, you can call that a system.)

I was very new to creating photo books. I still am.
I stumbled.
I made mistakes.
I'm learning.

But there were some things I did wish I knew before I started on my photo books.
This is for the photo book newbies like I am.

It's actually quite easy!
While the use of a software sounds daunting, it actually isn't!
Really. I was afraid to start and spent a long time fumbling about.

Turned out, what's more challenging would be the organisation of photographs.
The software isn't too bad once you are used to how it works.
Which brings me to...


Spend time to save time.
If you are a visual learner, read the user manual/ user guide.
If you are a tactile learner, explore the software.
The software is rather intuitive but make sure you know it really well.
At least for the functions you'd like to use.

I spent hours complaining about why I couldn't add a simple shape when I can add scrapbook elements.  Well, the option was there. Right there on the menu bar.

I spent hours figuring out why I had to stick to that shade of yellow if I wanted a particular cover layout. Or why I had to go with brown if I wanted to choose a particular page layout.
Guess what? The colours of the pages can be changed. Of course they can!

I spent a long time adjusting the photos on the first page (which was the same for all my three books) of my second book.
Just a recap, it looks like this.

10 tiny photos + masks + the places we traveled to.
Too time consuming. And trying to align the photo was such a pain.
When I was struggling with alignment, I suddenly realised, hey! I could save that page as a template! Saves a ton of time!

So, yup. Know the software well.
Spend time to save time.
Here is the user manual for Photobook Singapore if you need it.

Organise the photos BEFORE starting the project. 

In the digital age, we take more photos than we'd like to admit. I usually come back with thousands of photos from a two-week trip. I even had 25 shots of the same scene once. Multiply that n times. It's crazy.

For the first project (that one I lost), I added in all the photos into the software and tried to select the photos I wanted only then. That, really isn't a smart move.
There was just too many photos, I was overwhelmed.
(And then I wasted more time, sitting there feeling overwhelmed

Select the photos BEFORE starting on the book.
Select the photos you would like to include in your photo book.
You may need to go through a few rounds of selection.
After my first round of selection, I still had too many photos. Just the honeymoon trip alone took close to 130 pages so you can imagine. And that was after three rounds of deleting photos.

I had some I couldn't bear to chuck so I kept them, in case I had extra space,
Name them so that you know which are the ones that can be eliminated from the photo book should you really run out of space.

Name the photos as clearly as you can.
Instead of leaving them as IMG 1560.jpg.

While some prefer to do their photo book according to scenes or locations, I did my mine in chronological order so that I can relive each day of the trip as I flip through the book.

This is how I organised my photos.
(I've deleted the honeymoon ones from the computer so these are the photos for my New Zealand Trip.)

I grouped the photos according to location.

Then within each folder, I renamed the photos according to activities.

This way, I could see how many photos I have of each sight/scene and it would help me when I'm doing the layout of the photos. This is useful when it comes to using the layouts/ spread already available in the software.

It's okay to use their layout. And it's okay to crop the photos.
I was adamant about creating my own layout because I wanted all the photos in its entirety. No cropping! Silly thought.

Who am I kidding, really? I'm not someone who is very good at layouts so halfway through the book, I noticed that I have ended up on 4 x 4 for every. single. page.
BORING!
That was the project that disappeared. I think it was meant to be.

I convinced myself that it was okay to use the layouts available in the software. I had to crop some photos but it didn't turn out so bad after all. In fact, it turned out better.

Way more interesting than 4 x 4s right?

When pressed for time, using the available layouts/ spreads is a huge time-saver.
Remember how I organised my photos? I had 31 photos for the whale watch.
That means I can do three two-page spread of ten photos each. I'll just have to scroll though the spread available on the software that has about 10 pictures or so, then drop my photos into the picture boxes.

If you are not picky about layouts, this can really speed up the process. Since most of the layouts make the photo book look good anyway.

Your monitor could be too bright!
Disclaimer: This is for newbies like me so I'm assuming we don't really post-process our photos.

We ordered some prints from Photobook Singapore and found that the photos turned out really dark.
When I turned to Facebook for help, some friends also mentioned that they had the same problem too, even after they checked "Auto Enhance". Turns out, our screen is the problem.
It's too bright!
I had to adjust the brightness on The Husband's Mac to about 10%.

For most of my photos, I had to increase the brightness level even after they have been auto-enhanced. To save time, finish up the layouts first, then work on editing the colours of the photos from the program.

If you already have done post-processing of the photos then good for you!


Order a test copy first.
If you can, please do it.
At least if you can check if you are satisfied with the colours before you commit to more purchases.


The rest of these applies to Photobook Singapore, because they have heavily discounted vouchers.
And I haven't used other photo book companies. Yet.


Don't procrastinate.
Duh. Everyone knows it right?
But really, don't procrastinate.
I had to rush through four books just before the vouchers expire.
That is not fun at all.
Thank goodness for me, Photobook Singapore allows an extension of 21 days. This can only be activated 7 days prior to the expiration of the vouchers.
I've only used Photobook Singapore so far so I can't comment on the others. Yet.

This leads us to...


Don't fall into the vouchers trap!
Well, this is I set for myself.
I was confident that I could finish four books in six months.
But somehow as toddler-hood came about and bedtimes get wacky, I couldn't.
I'm not sure about other companies but Photobook Singapore pretty much have deals every month.
And if you are planning on doing up photo books in a popular size like the Medium Landscape, these goes on sale quite a few times each year.

I'm not sure if they allow projects to be saved on external hard drives. Still trying to figure that out.
If they do, that'll be great because you can start on a project first, when you feel inspired, then purchase the books at a later date when they are on sale!


So there you go!
This is long but I hope it is helpful!