Some afterthoughts on Ocean Week

I remember I said I had some afterthoughts about Ocean Week, which happened a few months ago. And then life went on and this sat in the Drafts folders. Until now.
I guess it's time.

Remember I said I was excited to start on themed activities because I feel like I'm finally on to something? And that I actually get to plan and prepare activities ahead? Most importantly, I finally felt useful. I don't know if all SAHMs feel this way but sometimes, I feel like I'm not contributing to anything at all. Not to the finances, not to the society.
Even though in reality, I know (after much assurances from my friends), that I am. Raising a child is a great deal. And being able to take charge of my child's learning makes me feel more empowered.

I started my first themed-learning the week we visited the aquarium and was bursting with confidence that it will work. I looked through the activities I had lined up for that week. Boy, aren't they fun? And I was excited to plan my next themed lesson.

Guess what?
It didn't work out after all!
All the activities I had planned for J are really simple ones and was supposed to keep her occupied for about 15 minutes. I didn't not include anything that's academic, like numeracy or literacy.
No numbers. No words. Easy-peasy and very age-appropriate I'd think.
I see how the other children are able to do it. It's all over the blogosphere, Instagram and Pinterest. That's where I got most of my inspirations from. There are 18-month-olds and 20-month-olds engaged in such activities for a long time, and they enjoyed themselves so surely my 23-month-old would find it fun too.

THAT's what went wrong.
And that's why I wish to share this.
I see many success stories about how the learning / sensory activities work with their children but I seldom see moms going "Oh. This didn't work out. Again. For the 1235th time."
Or, maybe I didn't search hard enough.

I was dead sure that something went wrong with my parenting somewhere along the way.
"Only five minutes? Why can't J continue with an activity for more than 15 minutes?"
"Did I give her too much bread? Bread contains sugar. Sugar rush?"
"Did I set up the materials wrongly? Maybe if I were to place the brushes this way, she would paint for a longer time."
"Did I lay out my invitation-to-play correctly?"
"Should I give her ten pebbles instead of five?"
"Maybe I should have used a bigger tray."
"Should I have sent her to school instead?"

I can hear my friend scolding me crazy already. You know who you are. ;)

So, after taking many showers, which so happen to be the only time I really get to think, I realised that parenting isn't like cooking, nor science.

There's no perfect recipe nor formula.

It's experimentation - lifelong experimentation.

All children are different.
They have different interests, different needs, different learning styles.
They learn at different paces, too. Yes, they do.
So, how can we expect them to all like the same thing, and respond the same way? At the same age?

So, what I learnt from Ocean week:

J seems to love to paint, so we planned for a few painting activities.
It turned out that washing the palette and playing with water sounds more fun than the actual painting. With each painting activity she does, the duration gets shorter. And we finally figured out that she has other agendas when she asks to paint - play with water.

My colouring activity didn't turn out well too because she is not interested in filling up the whole picture or page with colours. A friend in early childhood education told me that colouring is probably one things I should not do because it doesn't really do much to their learning. (Oh.)

The stamping activity didn't go as well either.
What actually worked, was the reading,. and the trip to the aquarium.


After what seemed like a long time, it finally clicked.
J wasn't ready for such activities. Yet.
Not now, but she will get there eventually. When she goes to school.
Right now, J needs to move around. I've also noticed that reading and pretend play keeps her occupied longer than any other toys I've gotten her, or any activities I've planned for.

It's okay that other children can do sit down activities, but J can't.
It's probably just not the way she learns now. And if learning and experiences are what are supposed to take place, then I think it's alright to do it in a way that interests the child.

We go out more now. We take trips to the parks and bird parks and the aquarium.
We've been to the aquarium twice after Ocean Week, and each time she learns something new.
"I Explore: Under the sea" complements the aquarium trip very well so we have been borrowing it from the library. We talk about our trips all the time.

She has seen the dolphins coming to her.
She has seen the diver.
She's touched sea stars and learnt textures.
During our last visit, she got curious about the fishes we see so we looked through the information boards and learnt their names.

So, even though planning activities gave me a certain sense of accomplishment, I am stopping them for now. Not that great a feeling for me since I'm back to "almost no contribution", but that does give me more time for myself.
I'm still collecting ideas and saving them for next time though.
We are back to spontaneity.
There is no structure.
No schedule.

Now that the haze seems to have gone away for good (this year), the grandparents are taking J out to the parks and beaches more often. I'm learning to take J out on my own and not lose my mind (or my child) in the process. And The Husband has been enthusiastic about giving her new experiences every weekend so we explore different places (other than the library and supermarkets) and learning still takes place. So that's not so bad.

And what's most important, J is happy and truly enjoyed herself.
I think that's all that matters.