The dilemmas of a mother

When you were really quiet during the first three months, just staring and giving what appears to be condescending looks (we know they are not), and when your smiles are so precious because they are so rare, I wished you would be more friendly.
Now you stop to wave and smile at everyone, make sure they enter the lift as you stay behind to watch the lift go up, high-five random people we see at the malls, I thought "My baby is too friendly."

When you were little and quiet, just lying there on the mattress, I wished you were more active.
Now that you are a ball of energy, I get really tired and wish you would slow down a little.

When you refused milk in the past, I wished you drank more. Now I worry if you are over eating.

When you were little, I wished you would grow up faster so that we can have tea parties. But now that you are bigger, I wish time slows down a bit and that you don't grow up so quickly. 

I wished you'd learn how to self-feed soon but when you really do attempt, I secretly groan as I watch spoonfuls of porridge drop onto the floor. (Clean-up is not so fun when you are an adult, baby.)

There are some things that I say you are "too little" to do, but some things you had to because you are "big enough already."
(I tried not to confuse you by splitting the age into five categories: 
small baby, big baby, small/little girl, big girl, adult.)

You are now big baby+ little girl. I use that interchangeably. So there are some things you can do, and some you can't. But I guess you are confused. I get confused sometimes too.


I guess being a mother, I'm going to have a lot of questions and a lot more dilemmas in future.
That's motherhood, isn't it?