This is probably something you wouldn't want to remember (or probably something you are not interested in when you are older), but I do. I want to remember every bit of it.
I scolded you for the first time today.
My momma-heart doesn't feel good doing this, but I had to. So that you learn.
Shortly after you turn four months (which is not too long ago), you've started to display strong character. Like, you are more 'vocal' and determined. You 'complain' when you are unhappy, and babble when you want to express your needs. But at the same time, you appear to be less cooperative.
Today you decided to keep flipping continuously when I was trying to put on your diaper and dress you. (You did that in the day too.)
In the process, you smeared the diaper cream all over the mat (which I don't mind, really) and stayed undressed for at least 15 minutes. (That, I mind a lot. What if you catch a chill?)
I held you down.
I spanked you gently on your butt.
I kept saying 'No.'
But you wouldn't listen.
I know you are very sleepy but I had to get you dressed before I can put you to bed.
By the end of what felt like forever, you were wailing because you were exhausted. And I was feeling bad for feeling upset at you and not staying quite calm. It was only then I managed to put on your sleep suit for you.
You were so cooperative when you were out with Yiyi W and Yiyi S during lunch yesterday. So I don't know what I did wrong when I'm at home.
Did I overstimulate you?
Or are you under stimulated?
That I don't know and I'm learning.
I'm sorry, my baby.
I still love you lots.
Tonnes of cuddles,
Mommy
** Now I know it really doesn't feel good for a parent to reprimand their child.
Now I know how upset my mum must be when I was rather rebellious during my Uni days.*
* (I actually told her I rather hang out with the family than study for my exams because I can't bring my books and results to my grave. Gosh, I actually did say that.)
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