November Thankful - The people who made it tough

I never thought I'd say this but I'm actually thankful for the people who made things a little difficult for me. I'm talking about a group in particular, one who is supposed to be close, but it's precisely we are supposed to be close, that words and actions are not chosen wisely.

I never stood up for myself as a kid.
When I got bullied, I'll cower in a corner. Someone would stand up for me. If no one did, then it was it. Just like that.
Because of the incidents that took place recently, I know I have to stand up for the ones I love.
I have to protect them.
And because of this, I emerged stronger.
Stronger than I imagined myself to be. I never knew I was capable of that.

Because of them, I've also learnt forgiveness.
I was quite the person to forgive easily but this caused so much hurt and pain that I wasn't able to.
I thought I would be upset with them till the end of time, but I realised that I'm able to forgive them. Slowly. But it's happening. I'm learning to slowly re-accept them as well.

Let's hope things improve.
(And please don't step on my tail again. I'm no longer a scaredy-cat but a mama lion. Just sayin'.)

November Thankful - Family and Friends

Hello, November!

I started the habit of being consciously thankful a few Novembers back and I thought it's a good tradition to stick to. Even if we don't celebrate Thanksgiving.

It makes me appreciate more of what I have in life. Gratitude matters.

Starting with people close to my heart, I'm really grateful to my family and friends. Cliché, but I'm still thankful for them. For enduring my rants. For encouraging me whenever I feel inadequate (that's almost all the time). For making me a better person.

My family

The support I get from my family is tremendous. This year, I am back home most of them time since I need help with J. My parents could have chased me back but they didn't. They help out a lot with the caring of J and even help plan fun activities for J. Explains why there have been more frequent outings and more explorations. I really appreciate that. I couldn't have done it alone.

The sister always makes it a point to meet up with J and often showers her with love and little gifts. It's not the gifts, but her willingness to be here for us whenever she can. And her willingness to help me bring stuff back from overseas so that I can save a bit of money. I cannot imagine how anyone can put up with the frequent "Can you help me get this, and that, and this when you're overseas?" 

She is also the one who is willing to get an annual pass to the aquarium just so I have company and won't have to do it on my own.

Thank you, beloved!

The brother doesn't really speak much but he's an amazing babysitter. J is always very cooperative with her uncle and sometimes, he doesn't even need to say a word. I also appreciate how he always appears at the right time, like when J is being playful and uncooperative, he'll drop what he's doing to come to her. Without us asking him to. And she stops. Like magic.
I don't know how he did it.

The Husband

I'm still thankful that the Husband agreed for me to stay home, even when that puts a certain level of stress on him. I really can't imagine going back to work and leaving J in childcare centres. Maybe I'm too much of a control freak.
I'm thankful he helps out at home, even though there are occasional grouses.

He still can't make milk for J yet, nor help bathe her, but I'm thankful he spends his time with J because being a dad is more important than being a father.
I'm thankful that despite the squabbles and fights, he is always here for me.

This year, I'm also grateful to a special little person.

My baby

I didn't know I can be strong (both figuratively and literally). I was weak as a child (figuratively and literally, too) and I never know how to stand up for myself. I always had people around me who would. But with the arrival of J, she gave me the courage to be strong. If I don't stand up for her, who will?

In the busyness, we have also forgotten the simple things like saying "Hi" to our neighbours. But J is so social, she made sure we know our neighbours.

Each day, I'm learning new things about her.
But I'm also learning new things from her.

I thank the teacher in her.
I'm also grateful that she is a rather easy baby.
And even more thankful that she's growing up well.

My friends

After I quit, I realised that I really don't have that many friends. But that few, that few who stuck by me and listened to my two-year-old rants, thank you! They are the same people who saw me through my insecurities and gave me a lot of encourgement and assurance. 

You really do not need that many friends in life. What you need, are that few friends who will stick to you through life.


These people made such an impact in my life. I can't imagine what I'll do without them.

{Grandma School} Back to the beach

We did go outdoors on the weather-is-good day.

The air quality was pretty okay.

We couldn't decide if we should go swimming or head to the beach.

Then the sister came back and left her car for us for a couple of hours.

Beach it is.

Life - pretty amazing how things fall in place.

It was quiet at the beach with just a few families sitting by the sand, and some fishing by the sea.

We started off spotting planes. There are so many, we must have spotted one plane landing every minute. Also why I love Changi Beach.

Compared to our last beach visit, J is now more receptive to sand. In fact, she showed no signs of fear. She went straight for the sea.

Not so much a fan of the seaweeds though. 

Most of the time was spent sitting at the edge of the sand so that the waves can splash on her. Each time a strong wave comes - one that can rock her, she giggles. This kid. She ended up with really wet clothes and a sandy bum.

Sand is not so fearsome anymore. Feet in sand and more poured over with the pail. 

This pail needs a special mention. It belongs to little me so it must have been more than twenty years already. Still going strong! Old toys are best.

The $1 sandkit from Giant is finally put to use. We have been reading a book on construction so J is quite interested in the tipper.

This must be the prettiest shell we spotted today.

The sky and the tree. Tranquility.

We went home with some treasures.

J stopped by the Casuarina fruits and was very curious about it, so we picked up a fallen branch and brought it home. She couldn't stop rolling the fruit in her hand on her way home - we learnt "prickly".

'Twas a good day.

Thankful: Kisses

We were away from The Husband for four nights. It was supposed to be two but Fever came along and we camped at grandma's for a little longer.

J was excited to return home to Daddy this morning even though she thoroughly enjoyed the grandparent's and her uncle's company.

Just before bed, she made us kiss.

"Mama kiss papa."

We obliged, else we can say "goodbye" to bedtime.

Then she made us both kiss her on her cheeks simultaneously. While her hands wrapped around our necks. 

"Hold neck" was apparently an important criteria.

This went on for a few times before she finally settled down for bed.

I'm so thankful for this kid.

I'm thankful she makes sure we have family cuddles and kisses together.

I'm thankful she forces her parents to kiss - it helps keep the marriage alive. Sometimes, amidst the busyness, we forget to love. But this little one, she makes us remember. 

Nature Walks

I love nature walks.

Visits to the parks and having picnic-style-dinner there, are a big part of my childhood.

Even as a teen, my dad would sometimes 'surprise' us with breakfast-at-the-parks.

Never mind that he comes into our room excitedly at 5.30 in the morning.

My parents always make an effort to point out the flora and fauna to us.

"See this? You can eat that."

"That's the kangkong plant. We had that a lot in the kampung."

"Look that those birds. They are XXX."

"This is the YYY."

"Did you see that??"

We are that strange family who stops in the middle of nowhere to look up in the sky, or squat down to look at the ground. There is always something interesting to see. 

I don't mind being weird. 

In fact, I love it. 

And I know that when I have children of my own, they will too, experience the wonders of nature like I used to.

I can never remember the names of the birds. Nor can I identify the edible plants. 

(Perhaps only the papaya.) That is why I'm terribly grateful to my parents who accompany us on nature walks on weekends. 

This is our third weekend at Tampines Eco Green. It's extremely close to the expressways and the residential area but once you enter the park, it's just peace and tranquility. (And fresher air.)

The Husband loves that.

I love that I can enjoy the clear blue skies, take some snapshots, and go faerie-hunting again. 

Would be perfect if the weather is cool.

J?  She has a great time running around the parks, stopping to look at the butterflies and ants, so I'm pretty certain that she enjoys it as well.

Last weekend, J got some bonding time with Daddy.

We stomped on dried leaves to listen to the sounds they make.

We observed leaves.

We spotted ants.

And we ran and ran.

We ended our walk with a beautiful sky.

How awesome is that?

Since we are at it, humour me a little more, won't you?

Here's a throwback to the last two weeks.

The first was mainly bird-spotting.

The second, we had butterflies stopping very close to J and ants marching past.

J was lucky to get close encounter with a monitor lizard which moved really slowly across. 

(I wanted a picture with it because I thought "Cool! The park makes sculptures too! I'm impressed!"

Then my mom said it was real and the lizard starting moving. Freaked me out a bit.)

Each time we are there, it feels like somewhere new.
It's wonderful.

I  hope this will become a tradition we can continue.

I really do.

And I'll make and effort to try identify the plants and birds.

{Daddy Reads}

{Daddy Reads} makes a comeback after 16 months because J has decided that Daddy is the best storyteller in the entire household.
True story.

16 months ago, The Husband was rather awkward when telling a story, I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. He sounded like a wizard talking. These days, he has improved by leaps and bounds that even I have to stop doing the dishes and listen to what he is saying. Somehow when he is reading the stories, J is mesmerized and just sits there, listening attentively. Some days, I peek over the door halfway through the dishes just to see if J is walking around as her daddy continues reading, like what she does with me sometimes.
Nope.
She sits in front of her daddy, points to the book, smiles so sweetly at him and looks like she's completely enjoying the session. She is.

The Husband surprises me.
He makes animal sounds when reading the books on animals, and is very animated when doing it.
He describes the scenes. "Oh look! There's a snow capped mountain behind the moose!"

And this book, J only wants him to read it to her.
I have no idea how to.

Image Source: Amazon.com

A Treasury of Princess Stories.
Shouldn't Mommy be the one reading this?
I later found out that The Husband doesn't really read the story (too wordy!) but they lift the flaps "with sound effects" and J loves it.

I must admit that I feel threatened because aren't I supposed to be the better storyteller?
But I am enjoying every bit of this daddy-daughter moments because it's just too cute.

When he reached 'Snow White', he said "Remember not to receive gifts from strangers."
Wow. Okay.
And one day I overheard him telling J, "The Princess and the frog. Do you know the name of the Princess? It's Tiana."
Did my husband just link a story to Disney?
And how did he know it's Tiana?
(Oh... From his colleague.)

In any case, I'm very heartened to see my boy put in so much effort for his little one.
Two years ago, I wouldn't have imagined him telling a story.

Okay,
I concede defeat.
You can be the official storyteller now hubby.

This morning.

Hi Baby,

I thought I'd have to wake you up so that you can take a quick shower before we go to the clinic for your vaccination.

But you were already awake when I entered the room after I got ready.
There, lying in the cot, playing with your fingers.
I clicked the lights on.
You shut your eyes tight. Then open. Then shut them again.
"Oh..." you said. It was too bright.
Then when you finally adjusted to the lighting, you put up your right hand like how you always do to say "Good morning."
Only today, you looked sleepy AND extra adorable.

I love it when you smile a sleepy smile.
It's the best way to start the day.

Today, I'm extra grateful.
For a healthy little baby.
For a happy you.

Two Weeks of Happy (09 and 10)

1. Happy mail
Our first order from Amazon.
Filled with my craft stuff in an attempt to make up to USD125.
These two packages arrived within minutes of each other and it make 'Happy Mail Day' even more special - almost like Christmas Day.

2. Some progress in cloth diapering/nappies

J developed rashes shortly after the our discussion on going natural for her.

The conversation was between the husband and I so I'm not sure how she heard of it.

But in any case, she decided that she doesn't want to deal with wet diapers anymore so I had to change her every two hours. (She tugs at the diapers.)

My mum taught me to take J to the potty every 30-45 minutes - the same way I was trained, and the same way she did with J during my confinement. (I later realised this is known as "Elimination Communication.") It was crazy. I couldn't remember the times so I resorted to this.

I was hoping the frame would make this process a little easier. J did make some progress in terms of "potty training" but I think I want to talk about that in a separate post. In any case, we are pretty happy with the progress. 

3. Happy National Day!

I'd wanted to get J to do some crafts for National Day but I got too caught up with the search for the right diapers and organic toys that I forgot.

Then on the actual day, I wanted to watch the parade with the husband. I heard the jets fly past when I was cooking dinner. When I was finally done, we realised we haven't got the Mio Box plugged in.

The rest of the night was spent cuddling J on the couch.

I missed the parade but it wasn't too bad. At least I saw the jets on their way back. And I have a happy baby.

4. Fun clouds

How can I end this without a cloud post? 

Saw this funny looking cloud that looked like the bobble-head Einstein from "Night at the Museum".

Went to get my phone and it changed.

But if you look closely, you can still see bobble-head Einstein.

A week of Happy 07 and 08

Two weeks in one.

A rather clingy baby means no time for the phone.

1. Fabric deals

I popped by Spotlight again on the second last day of the sale to get some fabric for the playroom. 

This is my favourite print.
I'd wanted to get these for my dining bench two years back but somehow ended up with gingham. I walked at least four rounds around the store and didn't see it so I thought they sold out.
Then I saw it - the last bale. 

The very last 1.4 metres of that pretty fabric.

I thought I was going to spend $20+ but

Was: $6.99/m

Got it at: $6.85 nett

Woots!

 2. I have a pretty 'hardy' baby.

J was suffering from constipation at the start of the week (07). She has had experiences of no poo for a day and the second day went fine - double the load but she was fine. This time, I could hear her gasping in pain, and her face all red during her bowel movements. I recognised the gasping from her previous diarrhoea episode so I know her tiny bum is hurting somewhere. 

Our hearts broke when we saw her in pain. But this girl, she's brave. Out of the 6-8 times (annoying poo...) she whimpered twice. The rest of the time, she gasped. No tears. She didn't cry. 

3. Oreo and milk. Enough said.

Anything better than this for a pick-me-up?

4.  Week 3 of healthy dinners.

No salt.

No soy sauce.

No oyster sauce.

No processed foods.

Only fresh produce, some herbs, and GOOGLE* for dinners. It's boring. It's bland. But we feel the difference. Less sluggish. Seemingly healthier. And detox seems to be taking place. (I guess it's slower when you only eat well for one meal.)

*GOOGLE - GOOGLE for recipes, leave out salt and use

Ginger

Onion

Olive oil

Garlic

Lemon

Extra virgin olive oil 

(Sorry I had to do this.)

4. First steps

J took her very first steps.

But unlike her previous milestones, she wasn't as keen and as eager to practise her new skills. This time round, she seemed more apprehensive and less confident. She still tries, but the lack of confidence is obvious. 

I actually hope I get my gutsy baby back soon. 

5. More fabric deals

Spotlight is yet having another sale so a quick flip through the catalogue and we found this:

Bunting panel deal.

I had wanted to get the one with the patterned panels until J woke up from her nap and saw the one with the Russian dolls. She got excited and smiled sooooo brightly at that one that we felt we had to get the Russian doll one for her.

6. Slappy cakes with the pals

Part of me wasn't exactly looking forward to getting home to Resort World Sentosa on my own because I didn't know what to expect. I haven't been there for ages. But the other parts of me thought that it would be a good experience.
I'm glad I went ahead. It is actually quite a nice walk to Sentosa via the boardwalk, I enjoyed it so much that I chose to walk back instead of taking the monorail.

J enjoyed herself and we know that because she finally napped and slept early that night - the first time in two weeks.
I'm actually looking forward to going to RWS again on my own in future.

7. Dr Bronner's

We bought our second batch of Dr Bronner's product from The Good Earth.

It was accidental but my face was so greasy the other day I just pumped out the then-hand soap (the peppermint one) and washed my face with it. Well, since Dr Bronner's can be used on the face too why not?
It was the path of no-return.

I couldn't go back to Cetaphil now. 

I need Dr Bronner's.

We placed the order on Saturday afternoon and received it that night.

Oh the joy!

Peppermint Bar Soap was sitting in the soap dish because we couldn't wait to use it.

A Week of "Happy" 06

1. Happy Mail

The books I ordered from Book Depository arrived. In separate packages. That makes more happy mail. J got excited over the bright colours and has got another book added to her "I like you! " collection.

2. Spotlight Sale

The only thing better than going to a sale, is stumbling upon one. Popping by Spotlight and Daiso to "take a look" is now a weekly routine after J has had a splashing(pun intended) good time at BabySPA.

The Kaiserwood items were going at 40%. I can't say no to that. 

Home decor, home decor.

3. Baby turns 9 months old

My tiny squishy baby is now a cuddly, sticky little bundle. But I love her. Maybe more than ever.

4. Daddy-daughter bonds

The most heartwarming day throughout the entire week- knowing that daddy and baby bond so well. Nothing more a wife and mother can ask for.

5. A new playroom

This is still a work-in-progress.
The room needs curtains.
The walls need decor.

But at least it's now clean and ready for J to play in if the weather gets too warm.
Mummy came over to help and within a couple of hours, it's ready.
It's like magic.
Everytime my mum comes over, the house either becomes sparkling clean or some parts of the house looks better. I don't know how she does it but I hope that in future,  I have that kind of magic too.

A Week of "Happy" 05

Happiness last week.

(I think I should post this series on Mondays instead.)

1. Watching the baby watching the bus

J doesn't seem to be very eager to crawl on the floor lately. Maybe she knows it's dusty no matter how we try to clean it. She is, however, rather into walking while holding on to my hands. 

On Tuesday, she held my hands and walked towards the window to look at the buses.

That look of awe.

That look of joy.

And the "ohhhh"as she sees the buses approaching.

2. Time alone while the baby sleeps. 
Soaking in the bliss of being a SAHM.
Enjoying the sleeping baby and thinking to myself how cooperative she is.
(Of course, she was a terror the next day. But never mind.)

3. Bought these tapes even when I told the cousin I wouldn't. They are too pretty to resist.

4. J learnt to open and close her palm.
It looks like a wave sometimes. And when I sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" she opens and closes both her hands. Milestone!

5. Went to the River Safari with my friends and their children.
First family outing that is not to the mall.
First family outing without the car.


That was a good one week.

Blessed, I am.

Eight months old is really a fun age.

I almost forget how I used to comment whenever someone tells me their baby is eight (or nine or ten) months old, that it's the best time of babyhood because these little munchkins are now bundles of sweat and FUN!

I had an amazing time with the little one yesterday. This post is going to be long and boring but this could easily be one of the best days of my life so here's a playback of the day.

J woke up at 9 (that's late!) and cuddled for a while after her bath before she played quietly in her playpen. She gets the view of the road from there so when there was a long line of buses, she squealed in delight.
Best. sound. ever. 

I think she rested enough during her nap because she was all smiles after that. She had her lunch and off we went to BabySpa for her weekly swim. This girl is active. She tickled the staff so much by splashing around in the water - it was our most enjoyable session so far.
She knocked out after that so I had time for a decent lunch at 3pm.

It was goooooood.
And yes. Cornish and Hazelnut Latte makes a decent lunch.

(At this point, I felt so overwhelmed with emotions I secretly teared a little.*)

We went off to Daiso after that and she allowed me time to grab most of the (unnecessary) items before she woke up. 

Case in point:

The grocery shopping at Cold Storage was a breeze too because she got to help hold the paper towels.
And the aisles were spacious. No crowds. No kids on kid scooters zooming around.

We saw Singa along the way.
Can you tell how excited she was to meet the lion?
She did what I thought sounded like "Ello!" as she put up her hand in the air.
I melted.

It is mandatory to walk past Cath Kidston (for Mommy's sake) whenever we are at Plaza Singapura. J was fascinated with the display. This girl seems to have a thing for florals.

On the train ride back, J is a gem - she was unbelievably cooperative.
It could be the uncle sitting beside us who reciprocated her smiles. That kept her occupied for a while.
Or the lady in black who responded, albeit awkwardly, when J called out to her.
Or the three very nice Caucasians to talked to her when she started to fuss at the very end of the trip.

She went home a happy baby.

The night was good too.
J sat quietly at the dining table for the first time in a long while as she watched us have dinner.
Babbled non stop to her daddy, and cuddled with us in bed and slept early.



* I am grateful. I truly am.
For these people who appeared in my life, no matter how long or short it may be.

1. For the husband, who sacrificed and multiplied his stress at work so that I can stay home. It may look like nothing but I know being the sole breadwinner puts a lot of pressure on him.

2. For my dear neighbour and staff at the BabySpa who encouraged me to head out with the baby. Even if I was on my own. I was apprehensive of taking J out on my own when she was little. In fact, I was so scared the first time I wanted to cry. I'm glad I got out of my comfort zone fast enough. Else, I won't be able to enjoy simple trips like this.

3. The people in the train and the people who walk past and spoke to/played with my baby. You made her day and I hope she made yours too.


Thank you.
I feel blessed.
I am.