Hormones and the haze

The recent haze has been the talk of the town.
It is really bad. We got a record high last night.
This was my view last evening.

I don't know if it's the high PSI readings (it hit 321 last night),
or the pregnancy-momma-to-be hormones,
or the fact that I am cooped up in the room just so that I don't feel breathless,
I'm feeling a little emotional, and in fact, today, a little depressed about the whole situation.

I sit by my laptop/iPhone, refreshing NEA's website every hour, and checking on the PSI readings.
I log onto Facebook feed and see updates of the haze (with photos) and feel for fellow mommas-to-be who are feeling discomfort.
I see statuses of mommas who are concerned about how their little ones are coping with the smoky situation.
I peep out of the window every now and then and sigh at the disappearing sights.
I know I probably should keep away from all these but I can't help it.

Then I start to worry and start sending multiple messages and updates to family and friends.
I texted my siblings to tell them to stay indoors as much as they can.
I called my dad to ask him to wear a mask on the way back home.
I texted the hubby and friends to tell them to wear a mask when going out for lunch, drink more water, and stay away from outdoors as much as they can.

I worry about Baby.
I'll sing and read and talk to Baby.
I'll tickle my tummy to irritate my little one inside.
Just to check if she's okay.
I panic when I don't get a response.

I'm grateful for the air cleaners we purchased a few weeks back.
Even though they were more for the air pollution we are getting from the buses and nearby constructions.
They really served us well during this period.
I'm grateful I'm not working and have the 'luxury' of being in an air-conditioned room, with my air cleaners on.

Then I think of my family and friends working outside.
And I think of my family at home, with no air cleaners at all. Stuck in the warm house with all the windows closed.
My heart hurts.
I feel so helpless that I'm here, breathing relatively fresher air.

I just peeped out of the window.
Even the blocks of flats opposite are disappearing.
I know a momma-to-be should be happy.
It's not easy at times like this.

Yes, and I'm crying as I'm typing this.

I know there's nothing much we can do about the haze.
No amount of complaints will shift these dust particles away.
But I hope, and I pray that the situation improves. Soon.